Friday Funnies: The Dark Knight

Just to show there's more to this film than friggin' suicidal Heath Ledger. (why didn't Brad Renfro--who was actually a better actor than Heath--get any death props at the Oscars. Drugs are drugs). Sorry for the hating. Besides Batman, Christian Bale as "American Psycho" is still my favorite of his roles. I remember him as child in "Empire of the Sun...."
Poor Aaron Eckhart. Just a throwaway role in the film. You think this is what Fox News, Limbaugh and Glenn Beck wish for Obama? hehehehe

Creator to Watch: Shawn Martinbrough

A recent write-up in the Washington Post on artist Shawn Martinbrough was sub-titled: "Gangsters, Superheros and Other Creatures of the Underworld." That pretty much encapsulates the main subjects of this brave medium known as comics, graphic novels, serial visual storytelling. This award-winning artist has done it all, from striking out on his own with indie comic projects such as Aire Force for Bodog, to working such heavyweights as Greg Rucka, to his partnership in multimedia VergeTV with brothas like former DC editor Joe Illidge. And he's an allright dude. Cool and confident. The Clark Kent glasses complete the picture. People like Shawn I like to call creators. Not re-hashers, not mining the same old hackneyed jokes, stereotypes, soap opera plots, warmed-over bama and ghetto sensibilities. You see that in his recent book, first pubbed by indie Watson-Gupthill, now owned by Random House (under my old sponsors, the Crown imprint): How to Draw Noir Comics (Watson Gupthill 2007). Yes, before "street lit" and other short attention span softcore porn there was noir. Mix the gangster dramas of 1930s film with the paranoia and realism of Post World War two America and you had noir. From Chester Himes & Dashiell Hammett to George Pelecanos and elements of The Wire, the traditions are thusly. And not necessarily in color. Rich shades of black, white and gray. Incongruous you say: the words "rich" and "shades" and "black" and "white?" Well, that's where the artistry comes in. The dedication. Talent. Humility. Creation. Check out Shawn Martinbrough on myspace, and buy this book. Even if you can't draw, because it's more than learning a skill. It's getting enlightened. When you understand the difference, then you'll understand the word creator. How to Draw Noir Comics. RAFBN choice for week 10. Read and learn.

Just in time for Election 08...

White people, white people...what to do? It's hypocrit or hipster time. Yeah, so we culudfolk 're still hashing out some silliness ourselves: Jesse and the activist gray-dicks versus Barack and young button-downs, Cosby-ism versus Dyson-sim, Condi versus Lil' Kim, Teri Woods versus real literature (calm down--I'm just teasing!), but these so- called "culture battles" are nowhere near the kind of conflict ya'll will endure when it comes man-in-the-mirror time in November. Internecine. And internal. Oh sure, Fox News, the wingnut bloggers, the howling douchebags on the radio, izarre story plants and salted headlines, blah blah are attempting to provide you cover, but hey, unless you're a foreigner reared on pop-culture visions of African Americans, an irredeemable redneck, seething guido or a zombie to your rightwing pastor, you know the peek into the abyss is coming. You pine for more movies like Hancock, or Eddie Murphy as "Donkey" to diffuse the tension, make for reassuring ebony-ivory moments. Instead comes Bama Girl, and it ain't about country-ass black people.

The film just dropped, so it missed SilverDocs here in DC/Silver Spring at the American Film Institute. Nevertheless, it's is opening in major film festivals this summer and will hit like a Rivera fastball on a batter covering home plate to closely. What happens when one African American girl aspires to take the Homecoming Queen crown of the University of Alabama. That slot has been controlled for over a century by a cadre of frats and sororities on campus known as "The Machine," which ensures the title only goes to the sweetest magnolia blossom, with her pink cheeks and supposedly Christian values (until Spring Break in Mobile or Panama City, then, Lord, here cometh the stinky pinky?) This wasn't 1968. This is now. New wounds, old wounds. Surprising attitudes, even from our folk. Hell, perhaps even the black football players. Yep--all them brothas recruited for the Crimson Tide. Read Forty Million Dollar Slaves for how those negroes roll. Pretty white girls as recruitment meat. Yum...

So check out the documentary film's site and the trailers. Nothing yet on Youtube. Will keep you posted. ROOOOOLLLLLL TIDE!!!

Rednecks everywhere are cutting their mullets, slitting their wrists...

Oh the foul stench of betrayal. Worse than Obama as honored guest of NASCAR. Worse than realizing that yes, maybe the GOP is full of rich hypocritical bastards who use the flag and the cross to dupe us. Worse than trying having to get a license for your kid's assault rifles away. Or paying too much for that saggy ass tattoo. Or keeping Brett Favre out of a Packer uniform!
Bud...bought by the Belgians?! Zounds! What's next--they buy up IHOP and Dennys to serve Belgian Waffles? The Waffle House itself--there off the interstate...off the frontage road...'round the corner from my doublewide... offering "smothered Brussels sprouts?"
Just kidding, white people. But my question is--will this turn Bud drinkers into connisseurs of my favorite beers, which happen to be Becks and Stella? "Hard working Americans" (in Hillary-Rove-speak) becoming metro, urbane? First they're selling off their Ford F-10s for effecient cars...now this? Maybe Obama has a chance. Or, sadly, will Becks and Stella Artois degenerate to the level of Bud swill? I'm sure Europeans don't want that. But hey, sign of the times. Sell off America, Americana. The St. Louis Cardinals will be called the Canals, and they'll play in
King Leopold Field (they'll be sure to flash photos of the rape of the Congo to make the black fans feel at home). We do it to ourselves and don't hold the same hotshots who tell us to be patroits accountable as they float off on their gilded parachutes.

What to do about the Clydesdales, however? The Chinese are buying them. Yummy with scallions and plum sauce...washed down by an "Antwerp Lite."

Friday Not-so-Funnies: Sudan, again

A day late, a dollar and thousands of bodies short. The International Criminal Court will seek to charge President Omar Hassan al-Bashir of Sudan with genocide and crimes against humanity. It's the first time the court's gone after a sitting head of state. Check out the story here. Karl Rove, supposedly in retirement yet somehow still covered by executive privilege, is ringing Dubya now saying "Ya know, this might not be such a great precedent for you..."

No need to rehash what this guy did in Darfur, or the regime's rapine war in southern Sudan. It is yet another item Islam refuses to discuss. The key here is that I have no doubt our pals the Chinese will somehow rescue him or indirectly pressure the ICC. No doubt.

Thoughts?

Let the Dog Waggin' begin...

Gas prices will mysteriously drop. Threats and great feats of patriotism to vanquish them will arise. Hey, why have an "October Surprise" when you can do it in the summer? As context, check out Dreyfus's blog piece in The Nation. I don't think we'll got to war with Iran, either. Bigger fish to fry out there, like fixing broke shit at home. Ultimately, we have to parse the rightwing paradox which refutes the GOP and Bush notion that "the terrorists [and who the hell are they?] want Obama to win. In order for Taliban, al Qaida, dickheads in Pakistan, mullahs in Iran, Hammas, Hezbollah, the Republican Party, Fox News, Glenn Beck, about 90% of the bloggers on Pajamas Media to have any purpose at all or reason to exist, there must be a counterveiling threat (real or invented, perceived or concrete). Ergo, the "terrorists" would want McCain, or another Bush/Cheney. Moderate Arabs, regular street folk in Islam love Barack precisely because he's not out here rattling sabers or dragging his knuckles or waving cross. Indeed, look at the contrapostive: China or Russia, India likes it when we are distracted and bankrupting ourselves and outsourcing. Israel--Lord, don't get started. The EU (yes, even Merkel and Sarko-tool), while bemoaning our cowboy and robber barron economy and sick disregard for the welfare of common citizens and consumers, loves to have Dubya as cartoonish foil. And what about North Korea? Hmm...

So here's my one little snipe at Dreyfus, and perhaps a novel extension of the Wag the Dog theory. Iran's doing this on purpose to provoke, all right--because they do want to influence our election. But not for the candidate Fox News would have to think...

The Mummy & China: Two Great Pieces of Bad Taste that go great together

Rachel Weisz quit The Mummy 3: Return of the Dragon Emperor not just to have her kid. Star of the first two dreadful Mummy flicks, she was pissed off at words like "franchise," "tie-in to Beijing Olympics," "vast Chinese market," and "Rob Cohen." Okay the last one's a doozy. Cohen has directed such hi art as Vin Diesel's XXX and The Fast and the Furious. He is on record as believing that films should be as loud and explosive as possible to appeal to the greater mass of dumbasses. And they should have commercial tie ins and franchise appeal. He's publicly excoriated Weisz and got Universal to seduce talented actress Maria Bello. Maria's got that indie cred but come on, having her play Weisz's character is like having Hill Harper and Ray Allen switch characters in He's Got Game. But Maria's gotta pay her rent, too, I guess. The Chinese government, film board and what they call private industry is actually helping promote this flick rather than banning it outright; it opens in Beijing first. Kinda smacks of the Berlin 36 Olympics pr job? The weirder part is that the film Hollywoodizes (sodomizes, whores?) themes, people and events in their history, from the Qin king's founding of the first dynasty and unification of China as an empire, to the construction of the first Great Wall, to the "terracotta army" every fool's seen in Discovery Channel and National Geographic specials, to...yeah...the Abominable Snowman. Lots of Snowmen. Of course, the latter, the yeti, is a Tibetan legend, but hey, as our President tells us, let's not allow stuff like Tibet, or the re-colonization of Africa and Darfur and gluttonous oil consumption and pollution and a continued Stalinist view of civil and political rights ruin the party. After all, without China's cheap goods and cheap borrowed money, our government and our economy would collapse. Then who'd uselessly patrol streets in Ramallah then and spend billions on contractors instead of fixing housing, health care and our own infrastructure?

The film sucks. Nuff said. I've seen press trailers. As an Xbox game or a theme park ride (hey, that's what this "product" is for) is okay. But ya know, sometimes what Kurt Russell (who was better in Big Trouble in Little China than a dozen Brendan Frasers) said about CGI in Death Proof (Grindhouse) is right. Too damn much of it. And the approach? Imagine if Tyler Perry had written the teleplay to Roots, or Jerry Bruckheimer decided to direct John Adams. Get the idea? Good, now mix in a lot of Indiana Jones rip-off and multiply the schlock and explosions by 100. Too often we allow ourselves to say things like "Hey don;t be a snob. These are summer fun movie romps. Fine--except there's the counterpoint of Spider Man I, or 2008's Iron Man, even The Hulk...and of course, The Dark Knight. Accordingly, exciting summer flicks don't have to be least common denominator floating turds enticing rednecks, suburban tools and bammas to the Multiplex. On top of that, China shows it's true colors to the world by promoting this fantasy (imagine if the UK & Ireland decided to adopt The Lord of the Rings as official history...then again the Scots did it with Braveheart and looked stupid doing it).

I won't bore you with a gloss of Jet Li's performance. If you want to see him in something awesome and historical about China, rent Hero. Brendan Fraser's been on my shit list since Dudley Doo Right.

But hey, Rob Cohen will be heralded in China the way the French still love Jerry Lewis and the Brits rightly lionize The Ramones. And isn't keeping those commie sons of bitches happy what's important? After all, we've mortgaged this country to them. What happens when they foreclose? EEEEEEW. Too much for many little brains to take. Like global warming. Easier to shut it down a la the way black folks consume street fiction, plunk down that $9.50. Moi, I'll be seeing Batman for the 7th time, and boycotting NBC's Olympics coverage (okay, I'll watch the boxing). Me, and Rachel Weisz. Alone in our good taste...

Barack Obama Campaign Song

One of my blog visitors inspired me. The Clintons had Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow." FDR had "Happy Days are Here Again." Woody Woo had "It's a Long Way to Tipperarry." Dubya had the Mr. Magoo theme. I've found the perfect Obama campaign song--one that will even woo the rednecks with stickers who have no bidness voting Republican...

Ladies and gentlemen...DEWEY COX!

RIP Jesse (Helms)

Dispatch from the cloudy muggy beaches of Delaware--

Guess the notion of Barack was too much for the pre-Whoville epiphany Grinch-sized ticker of his to take? Well, any white person who sees that as anything more than an elderly man sadly succumbing to the fate awaiting all humans is as twisted a cracker scumbag as he was. Oh, and that includes Michael Jordan. Michael you will roast in the same coals as your boy Jesse for what you did to Harvey Gantt...

Countdown to ComiCon San Diego...and the End of Days

The march to the madness that is ComiCon has begun. What will the latest Hollywood invasion bring? Will anyone care about graphic novels when 50,000 geeks are dressed up like Boba Fett, Princess Leia, Wolverine and Mr. Spock? Another 25,000 are there to see the stars and the babes on G4 brought in to entice the geeks...about 25,000 are really there to enjoy the art and nothing else.
Check out me and Gary's The Darker Mask interview on the official site Pulse page. Our panel is 7/24.
Speaking of scary creatures and apocalypse, Rush Limbaugh's new ten year contract with Clear Channel (the other Goebbels-like rightwing network) is worth almost $400 million. Proving again that as many ignorant black folks were implicated in "Hard Times at Douglass High," multiply that by a thousand for the fraction of the total number of stupid white people in America.
Oh, and have a Happy July Fourth. Watch HBO's John Adams for the truth of that Philly scene...

RAFBN-Week 7

USAToday recently announced that explosive growth in Hispanic communities nationwide is now attributable to births, not immigration (illegal or otherwise). Which Hispanics and why, I ask. Like us, they are not monolithic. There is poverty and wild wealth. They endure invidious discrimination yet many practice it to an artform. They want to be "Americans" yet are often more insular than many Asian and South Asian groups. They suffer starker skin color, caste, origin and self-exploitaton issues among themselves than even we blackfolk. So who are "they?" No one's ever answered that question for mainstream USA. Are they "Castillan" (e.g. closer to Spanish roots...white) Cubans who've taken over south Florida? Those folks aren't the same as the legions of Hondurans, Salvadorans, etc. in Maryland, DC or Northern Virginia. Black Dominicans aren't the same as Mexicans. Mexicans--lord...Tejanos and folks in Arizona or New Mexico who've been around so long they are basically cowboys and rednecks with deep suntans and black hair...or the thousands of folks smuggled in VW buses...or what is the defining nature of the difference between the Chicano schoolteacher or dentist in the Valley versus the vatos and chicks in East LA and the ruthless scumbag gangsters of La Eme ruling California prisons? They're the same as the few Argentinians, Chileans running around up here going to grad school? Or the Panamaians descendended from black West Indians? Or...Puerto Ricans?

Geraldo Rivera--yep Gerry Rivers--only tickles theses issues in his book HISPANIC: Why Americans Fear Hispanics in the U.S. (Celebra, 2008). Indeed, much of the monograph becomes a memoir and sprinkled with illustrations and examples other Puerto Rican sucess-over-adversity stories. Trouble is--that's about Puerto Ricans. Culturally and legally (since the Jones Act of 1917) US citizens. More Brooklynesque than Italians, more Bronx than Yankee Stadium, more New Haven than Yalie George Bush. Yes, Geraldo takes on some of his FOX NEWS cohorts--and in this era of info-tainment and target demo fakery you have to wonder how genuine this is--and names names among Mr. Charlie's anti-immigrant crowd. Yes, Geraldo decries this friction between black and brown. But there's no nuance on one level...or blunt force on another which always gets short shrift: differences among Hispanic or "Latino" groups...and thorny social issues such as crime, education, too many young girls having too many kids, nihilism, alcoholism, drugs, lack of health care/insurance. You know--the shit they tag US with hahahahaha.

That Hispanic birth rate? Again--among which groups? Run of the mill families or second generation Mexican immigrants...girls just celebrating their Quinceanera by getting pregnant? Or some of my Salvadoran or Ecuadoran neighbors pumping out kids whilst papa can't find work during the housing slump? Note the birth rate's not some cultural dialectic. They have biology on their side. No one's waiting to finish grad school or make partner or move into the good school district before they get married and have kids; you don't see too many late thirties/fortysomething Hispanic couples at the IVF place. Lots of black people, though. Interesting. Maybe you will in a few generations, as caste/class displaces ethnicity as a determinant? Both Darwin and God say we are set up to be fecund and fertile by age 17-18, and if there's food and no natural stresses, we shall multiply. Hispanics are a testament to that fact. Geraldo? He doesn't delve into the details at all. Not that I expected him to be Bill Cosby in Come on People, but once he's beyond the immigration debate he merely touchs problems with success anecdotes re: Edward James Olmos & famous people. "American Me" is not a tale of inspiration. Then there is the matter of education, drop-out rates, etc. This is even more painful, and rivals anything in HBO's "Hard Times at Douglass High." Again, Geraldo rails against Anglo cretins and oppression, but doesn't winnow into nasty stuff. Finally, there is the seperate issue of Mexico which could fill a whole volume. History? Yeah, they didn't cross the border--the border crossed them. Issues unique to California, Texas? Yeah, and again, no true co-sanguinity with Puerto Ricans. He doesn't even presage the weird doings of Hillary Clinton with respect to turning Hispanics "against" Obama this year. Ironically, his spleen's aimed that Republicans.

Geraldo missed a chance for a multi-volume Michener-esque chronicle of diverse tribes who are thought of as one "nation" onto themselves. Still, there are interesting arguments, insights, stories. Me--I decry the lack of "coverage" for Brazilians (and okay, Portuguese and Cape Verdeans in New England--ya happy?). As black folks we likely have more in common with them...even the "white" ones who cling to their German/Italian roots...than we do most Hispanics outside of Puerto Ricans, Domincans and some Cubans. Best looking women in the universe, too. And you'd have thought THAT would tickle Geraldo's fancy! Talk about BIRTH RATE. Lawd. Anyway, HISPANIC: Why Americans Fear Hispanics in the US. Read and learn.

Ungawa, Bwana Shung Shi Wang! Bad Ju-Ju there!

Not that our hands are clean (and when I mean "our" I also include with U.S. government and corporate interests we African Amerians, our "revolutionary" intellectuals and artists...and that ol' Congressional Black Caucus...which will hopefully see some replacements like Kevin Powell soon), but hey, look't the Chinese backing up Robert Mugabe! I'm sure they're paying for his inuagural shin-dig where he turns all of Zimbabwe into a parade float. Let's see the scoreboard on the Chinese, shall we? Destroying the ecology of their own nation and polluting the world, floating Bush's phoney-baloney economic "policy" with cheap money, Darfur, human rights, Darfur, human rights, Wal Mart, happy plosts with greedy pseudo-patriotic outsourcing American CEOs, Darfur, buying off NBC and just about everyone else for the Olympics, draining natural resources There Will Be Blood style, and well...did I say human rights, Darfur yet? Now this. Magazines from Foreign Policy to The Economist have been chronicling this neo-colonial push in Africa, and if you think U.S. bankers, CEOs, hedge fund scumbags are willing puppets, imagine the garden variety African president-for-life or newly inaugurated guerilla movement leader now head of state? It's time we stop giving China a free ride. While we degrade ourselves in Iraq and in bellicose nonsense with mullahs eslewhere, they take over the world. You think the Mugabes out there don't see that?

Friday Funnies--Equal Puking for Whiteboys

Re: my NBA Draft post...just so you don't think I'm always down on my own people Juan Williams-style (wait till my review of Hard Times at Douglass High, and the article in The Atlantic on the correlation of violent crime's spikes in suburbs and smaller cities...with yes, clustering of Section 8 and Section 8-hybrid housing) here's a little railing against chez pilgrim for your Friday. No, not more FOX NEWS or rightwing blogger buffonery. No, not your boys Tony "Scales" Scalia, Alito, Roberts and Justice Handkerchief Head handing down this loosey-goosey DC handgun ban opinion basically saying any fool can own artillery. Unh-unh. It's G4. Yes, G4.
A new "reality" show, called "Hurl."
Contestants engage in competitive eating (clam chowder to sausages & such) and then are put through stomach-bubbling obstacles and mini-amusement park rides--hanging, spinning, twisting and kneading--to see who can hold onto to their vomit the longest. You heard me. All to that get that almighty white male 16-35 demographic.
Yes, the shakers and movers, the hedge fund managers and mortgage backed securities defrauders, the future Bushes and Cheneys. Oh, not just gamers and skateboard turds. Sadly, among them are the biggest chunk of young people who volunteer for the Army and still, after all the facts, think Osama bin Laden was sharing pork hot dogs and booze with Saddam Hussein. I see them every day in Silver Spring, months later...minus limbs or half a skull. But hey, as they convalesce it's a laugh-riot on G4 as summer brings "Hurl!"
The axiom for the late 2oth Century and early 21st should be: JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DO SOMETHING, DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD. Indeed, in "Office Space" creator Mike Judge's "Idiocracy," 500 years into a retarded future (smart people reduced to IVF, stupid people having babies galore) the number one box office smash is a movie called "Ass." A naked ass, occassionally farting every now and then. Two hours of it. Now, is that "Hurl?" Oh no--I'm making a mountain of a mole hill. Hurl is harmless fun. Hurl gets the target demo and makes the corporate sponsors happy. And I know you fanboys & girls don't want me biting the hand that feeds ole Nat, as I have to make the trek to San Diego for Comic Con 7/24 for a panel and some signings, and to enjoy the freak show and Hollywood invasion with the other ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine of you. Don't loudtalk G4.
But come on, whitepeople (to paraphrase Cosby)--this is what you come with...yet you refuse to engage existing technology or sock it to the fatcats who've been running your lives and getting uber rich so we can travel, breathe, work, live and love better, more efficiently, more respectfully? Naaaaaaaaaah! That's commie tree hugger talk. Ain't even nigger talk (right Ralph Nader?). So hurray for more whiteboy bread and circus. Well...these days, just circus. Bread costs too much. "Bread and circus"--that's how Rome kept its pleb mob happy...and then Rome fell. I know most of you dumbasses have no clue what that means. Just keep watching the former Maxim models on G4 --they'll elaborate on the new Hurl Xbox game soon. It'll be previewed after a new show called "Diarrhea on DD Tits." Get your Conceal and Carry license (oops...do you even need THAT anymore, Justice Scalia?) and join me at the screening!

Forty Million Dollar Slave Auction

Sorry for the absence. Mourning Jerry R.

Bill Rhoden coined the term in his book. Hurray for Derrick Rose and OJ Mayo. Hurray for the kids who jumped to the pros after centuries of black folks literally dying to get any education, college or otherwise. Hurray for the 19 year olds who think they are stellar and man enough to play in the NBA. Hurray for the massas, Jew and Gentile alike, who with greta moral strength said no, we can't have these nigger boys jump straight from high school. And huzzah for them for no taking the NFL or Major League Baseball as guides. Don't listen to sports writers like Vito Forlenza. Hurray for cars, bling and bitches, and new houses for mama & Uncle Pete. Photos shoots with white girl models & sex tapes with white sluts.

Huzzahs for the folk who say, but these young bucks are realizing their dreams, providing for families (and posses, boyz, baby mamas, vampiric white agents...oops sorry for the elitist bourgie cynism)...what choice do they have? Won't they be rich? As compared to whom...the white men who own teams, arenas, cableTV concessions? Who get their JDs, MBAs, CPA ratings, broker/dealer licenses, etc. who preserve the wealth? Oh no. Hoop dreams. A slave coffle in Everett Hall suits and Stacey Adams gators... with dangled shoe contracts from when they 16 years old. Ah yes, like Kunta Kinte in Annapolis...

RIP Jerry (and George Carlin)

Jerry Rodriguez...award-winning indie filmmaker, Brookyn in his blood, Puerto Rico in his soul. Fellow author. Pal. click here to see how tall this dude stood. His novels are instant classics; we'll dedicate the Darker Mask to him if the publisher can slip something in...

George Carlin. Lord what else can be said about him? I don't like the word "icon." Neither did he. But hell. Look, unlike most Americans he was insightful enough (a premium these days), to hold George Bush, Fox News , etc. in equal contempt with most liberals. Here was a man who could make something as banal as local TV news-sports-weather funnier than anything new comics can muster. He spanned eras. Oh yeah, here's one for you, George--FUCK the FCC!!! RIP, da bof' a youze. We'll keep fighting the good fight.