Kerry: "Oh Darn Darn Darn Darn, Lilly!"

Let's face it, "Herman" Kerry has the people skills and sense of humor of a cashew nut. Always did. Is Dubya a retard and a fool--hell yes. Ask Colin Powell (see my post of October 1, "Welcome Back, brotha Powell"), but this means he can relate and convivialize with the average moron. And isn't the average moron graduating from American high schools each year the gravaman (that's one of those pompous lawyer terms that old fart barristers like to toss around) of this "joke" ol' Munster choked on the other day?

I won't whine about a non-issue or misdirection in the "turn" and "prestige" (I bet Karl Rove saw The Prestige 10 times already--we evil magicians must stick together). No, the Dems brought this on themselves allowing this creep to speak in public. He's purely a behind-the-scenes pompous wonk (not an oxymoron in Washington, folks) and the DNC Senatorial group should have kept him in that role. Nor will I go into the whole farce of No Child Left Behind, teaching to tests and the conspiracy to keep poor and middle class kids from competing withMr. Bush's real constituency.

You have good ol' country music listening wholesome kids and adults who can't even point to Alaska on a map, not to mention Iraq. Some citizens don't even know Alaska's a state. Couple that with CNN-Army Times polls in 2004 indicating that the average soldier/sailor/airman/Marine still thought there were WMDs in Iraq, and that somehow Osama Bin Laden and Sadam Hussein (remember him?) were pals!!!

Forgeting the cautionary tale of NFL star Pat Tillman, how does a regime convince kids to volunteer for a bullshit war? Well there are three interelated approaches (and present each in red white and blue, to make Toby Keith proud):

1. Open-eyed patriotism and duty. You know all the facts. You know the history of the region, the current politics, the nuance of Islam, the language, the nature of the relationship between al Qaida and Saddam's Sunni-secular gang. God bless you. If I were younger, that would be me. Just so I could say I did something. Then again, I'd rather you just parachute into Pakistan where the real enemies lay safe...
2. Brainwashing. Doesn't take much. You brainwash kids who've been spoon-fed horseshit every time Mom and Dad turned on the TV to baby-sit. Same simpleton fear tactics you see in the current House, Senate and local gov. campaigns. Bereft of critical thinking skills, predilection for Hollywood-like symbolism, appeals to emotion, video-game-like resolution of problems, no history taught in schools in depth. No understanding of the region or its people and the job is done! Then of course, you hit them with this Friday Night Lights crap about "cutting and running." Hey, I see the amputees from Walter Reed every night I'm in downtown Silver Spring hitting Borders or waiting for my wife whilst she grazes in AnnTaylor Loft, and they look as if they move in their own orbits, distant a la Neptune, cold and solitary. Not pensively, mind you. Rather, like God hipped them to something none us can comprehend. Talked to a couple of them and they aren't bitter about losing a leg or a piece of skull. They are bitter about the bullshit sell-job they got...
3. Recruit kids with nothing else better to do. Many "heroes" sprung from these ranks. But these days, folks, what truly springs from this is the foundation for Mr. Munster's "joke." The military provides structure and something to do for kids who aren't going to be joining Skull & Bones at Yale anytime soon. Now, the right wing bloggers and GOP caroon figures who are railing aginst Kerry seem to evaporate when you bring up the pay-day loan problem on bases, or health care coverage (now that CHAMPUS is dead), or non-enforcement of the Soldiers and Sailors relief Act when it comes ot debt collection, or domestic violence, drugs and other deviant behavior, skinheads, street gangs, an utter lack of understanding of another culture, evangelicals amongst the ranks creating Christian jihadis in Kevlar. But, see # above, some of these kids wake up, get smart, even get an education beyond Grand Theft Auto-San Andreas. Might be too late, as when they get home and bask in the glow of the parade...their job has been moved to China...

So no, don't give John Kerry a break (I'm doing my Boris Karloff imitation from Frankenstein now, not the Munsters...Friend, gooooood). But don't buy into this explosion of outrage, either, or for godsakes dig these "Swift Boat" clowns up again! Look, on blogs, on Fox, on the radio, these douchebags (members of my party, see below) have need something to rally around. I could give a literary or historical illustration here but some graduates of Cali public schools might not get it...