Wednesday, July 11, 2007

RIP "Ladybird"

The scene: Somewhere in the afterlife...

LBJ: Well Bird, whutchew think about this peepsqueak Dubya usin' me and mah so called failures to justify this bullshit in Iraq...and pissing all over whut I tried to accomplish for a just society? Thas right gurl--whut I accomplished, not that phoney baloney Jack Kennedy or his whiny little brother Bobby!

Claudia: Oh Lyndon give it a goddamn rest! You flap your gums more than Hubert Humphrey on meth. Where's the goddamn ladies room in this place? Last thing I recalled before my soul floated off that table was Lord, I gotta pee like a mare!

LBJ: Well now Bird you think this little ree-tard's gonna pull sum'thin' shady in the next few months...sorta "waggin' the Dawg" to di-vert all them dumbass folk whut voted fer him? I hear his "Homeland See-curity" fella's got a "gut feelin'" about a terrorist attack. Hell, I don't know much, but I know the difference 'tween chickshit and chicken salad...

Claudia: Lyndon I swear you need to shut your damn trap and find me some barbeque and a tall lemonade. Now I'm gonna go play a hand of bridge with Abigail Adams and Jackie...yes, Jackie...maybe you can inhabit the body of that colored boy Obama, or even that Mexican Richardson--and have mercy what kind of a Mexican name is that? Go teach those fools in your old party what leadership and hardball's all about. They need to learn it quick. I kept tellin' them all along. Hope they listened...

RIP, Bird. They broke the mold with you.

6 comments:

z said...

Gawd your writing really sucks.

Chicama Vineyard said...

Who's "Z?" Have you been leaving the truth on right wing blogs again you naughty boy? LOL

Ladybird was an amazing woman, a true steel magnolia and yes they broke the mold. Eleanor Roosevelt, where are you, too?

Blessings,

and "Z"-- there are affordable treatments for needledicks. Whoa.

lance williams, sr said...

First of all, bruh, I loved your story in AHMM. SoZ's wrong about that. I thought the one in Whispers in the Night: DD III sucked, as Z says. Don't pout! It seemed you "phoned it in." But I loved the concept and the characters, however. Just don't get stoned on Robitussin before you type.
(you know I got your back!)

Second of all, your little play is amusing, but Ladybird Johnson is indeed a bit before my time so I'm not feeling it. I think she ceased being First Lady six months after I was born. Makes me a Nixon baby. Lawd. So you don't think Michelle and Barack will imbue the White House residence with such fireworks and banter. Shame on you for not being a true believer!

Let us all know if you or your bred'ren are going to Comic-Con.

Zackory Kirk said...

I really liked the blog. Lady Bird Johnson was a woman of her time, but she exuded class and acceptance.

Anonymous said...

It took a special woman to love LBJ. Monster and hero all wrapped in one package.

Too bad their legacy is a marriage into Chuck Robb's family.

field negro said...

"z" must be from that site with a certain black icon's name (Booker) in the title.

Great post! And way to acknowledge someone who was way underated in my book.