Sunday, March 08, 2009

Chris "Breezy" Brown: My Young Hero

Before I opine on Watchmen, Hall & Oates, the new federal budget and poet/writer Paule Marshall's new memoir, I figured I'd add my 2 cents--finally--on that sweet lil country boy from Tappahanock, Va.
The Smoking Gun has the affidavit in support of the search warrant on Breezy's Verizon mobile phone account and all affects appurtenant to his abode. The affiant detective is a brother, by the way.
Of course, the people who support Breezy, or who say what did my lil West Indian princess Ms. Fenty do to "provoke" him, won't read the affidavit. Admittedly, cop affidavits aren't meant to be drawn in the suspect's favor. But that's not important. What is important is that Chris is my hero. Yes, I said it. Many times I wished people would not forgive my trespasses, but exault them. Give me a pass. Support me because there are "other considerations" like politics, sex, money, record sales, image, face/rep. So many boys in Tappahanock (this ain't Northern Va., friends) would like to be Breezy. I'm no bamma but I do. Be a performer, dancer, singer, rapper. Or maybe play ball like another of the Old Dominion's native sons--Mike Vick. Expend a little blood on the field, on stage and get paid. Employ or fund my family, my friends (who admittedly don't need it either, but it would be funny to have an entourage of bourgie blacks and Princeton whiteboys! Appear in public with my wife, but them cheat like a mug. Have my Jewish attorneys and asset managers pay into my bitch fund, in case abortions go awry or aren't effectuated as promised. And like Ms. Fenty, Mrs. Nat will stand by me, for often are their own worst enemies, regardless of education, age. My wife's father is deceased, but if he was alive and I beat his daughter and she told him...well, I'd just have my lawyers buy him off, or threaten him, or just shut him down asserting "hearsay" in court. Sure these fool cops who besmirch our young men, our entertainers, will try to get an equally racist judge to admit his statements to impeach his daughter should she lie on understate what happened on the stand or in a statement. But hey, all in the game.
And it's the game that counts. I mean, the odds of becoming the new Breezy or Lil Wayne are worse than trying to be the new Eric Holder. But where's the game in that? There's role model enough in the White House for our children, sure. But no game. Morever, Breezy's such a sweet boy; he's no dirrty South thug clown. A record label's PR dream. Melts even the middle aged chicks, eh, with that smile. The aw shucks mixed with the teen swag and sex. I wish I'd had that at 20. No, I just studied, tried a decnet imitation of cool, did okay with girls. But it was no moveable feast. Had I been my hero, had my parents acted like bammas and provided such a wonderfully dysfunctional example, I would have had groaning branches of low-hanging female fruit to pluck, bite. Smart girls, too. Jack and Jill doctor's daughters. Foot in the ass or a dollar in their purses and they'd stay true to me. All in the game.
Read the affidavit, accordingly, and give a hurrah for my hero.


Anonymous said...

While I am glad you didn't produce the usual attack on her, I'm worried that you are producing a veiled Bill Cosby-type attack on "poorer" African Americans? The inference is reasonable to draw. I will however give you the benefit of the doubt, given your brand of satire.

Again, the focus should be on HIM, not "Ms. Fenty." The Smoking Gun excerpt is instructive and troubling so thank you for providing the link.

Pebbles Flinstone said...

Oh my -- this really makes me sad. This kid needs help badly. What is worse -- she needs some good guidance in her life. I hate to say it, but he is an Ike Turner in the making. Also, Anonymous, I am with you. I am giving Nat the benefit of the doubt that he is not attacking African Americans who come from poorer backgrounds.

Marie said...

The thing that bothers me is when men say: "You know what happens when your lady sees you get a call from one of your others." WTF?

I went on Bossip site and you would be shocked how many fools think this is still alright. You're right they won'tbelieve the police reports.

Anonymous said...

If she were my daughter, he would still be in hospital looking forward to a six-month stay in traction. And I'm a mother. Let's not even talk about what my husband would do!

Anonymous said...

SoCal 82Tiger Says:

Professor is this tawdry drama of young love gone wrong really worthy of your attention? I mean seriously ghetto & white trash behavior is running rampant everywhere…

When you take away their money, beauty, and fame the “what’s up” with these two is just another 15-minute feature from the latest episode of COPS!

BTW aren’t you the #1 ranter against such crappola in our culture?

As to yearning to obtain your own free pass and forgiveness against future trespasses - Look to the day when the money is rolling and VF, GQ, US, People, Jet, Essence and Ebony come a calling!!!

When good fortune and fame smiles upon you, too many people have a vested interest in you not failing. It will be nothing but blue-sky days as you kick back awash among your sea of sycophants who aide and abet your every effort to get away with anything – even murder…

Christopher Chambers said...

Chris Brown is still on the ballot on the Nickleodeon Awards. We love those kids, don't we? And there's a rumor Rhianna married him. Hmmm. Well. Niggahs and flies. No black people would do this. But Niggahs would do it, and cheer it.

Oh well, I guess the only thing left that would demonstrate once and for all that the Enlightened Age of Obama is a myth is Dr. Phil getting involved. Stay tuned...

Anonymous said...

Fuck them both. Americans are loosing their jobs and homes.

Joseph said...

Great post!
No game in Eric Holder?
No game in Susan Rice?
No game in Colin Powell?
No game in POTUS?

No not us!!!!!

So sad to think that once our trajectory for role models was high -- even noble to some degree -- and now it's abysmally low. A whole of our people generation has opted for shuckin' and jivin' instead of doing what an old advertisement used to say: Takin' the long way home. For those of us that did take that path and studied and worked hard without feeling we were losing our identity as Black we're still here and successful and role models in our own right.

But there's no game in that, right?

Absolutely wrong!!!!

Thank you for posting this. I will share it with my 14 year-old son as an object lesson. Stupid actions will beget actions beget harsh consequences -- I certainly these actions do.

Unfortunately, I suspect this will be remedied with:
a mea culpa in court
(i.e. Court of Public Opinion)
Prescribed therapy
* Appearances:
-Oprah/Dr.Phil/name a talk show
* Some community awareness
* Attempt to maintain/kickstart his
career. (he might even tour with
with Michael Jackson where they
can trade stories and pass the
generational torch and moonwalk
into the sunset.

A PR/Marketers dream!!!!

Q: Amid all of this, I have to ask, where is that champion of women who hates abuse and/or manipulation of women, Gloria Alred? Or does she only defend or speak out on the behalf of "selective" women that are dead or alive. I heard her make comments on the muslim wife in NY that was beheaded by her husband. And here's Ms. Fenty whose still alive and of color (Tan with touch of black and blue) but not a word from Ms. Alred.

A pin-drop moment, no?