Re: my NBA Draft post...just so you don't think I'm always down on my own people Juan Williams-style (wait till my review of Hard Times at Douglass High, and the article in The Atlantic on the correlation of violent crime's spikes in suburbs and smaller cities...with yes, clustering of Section 8 and Section 8-hybrid housing) here's a little railing against chez pilgrim for your Friday. No, not more FOX NEWS or rightwing blogger buffonery. No, not your boys Tony "Scales" Scalia, Alito, Roberts and Justice Handkerchief Head handing down this loosey-goosey DC handgun ban opinion basically saying any fool can own artillery. Unh-unh. It's G4. Yes, G4.
A new "reality" show, called "Hurl."
Contestants engage in competitive eating (clam chowder to sausages & such) and then are put through stomach-bubbling obstacles and mini-amusement park rides--hanging, spinning, twisting and kneading--to see who can hold onto to their vomit the longest. You heard me. All to that get that almighty white male 16-35 demographic.
Yes, the shakers and movers, the hedge fund managers and mortgage backed securities defrauders, the future Bushes and Cheneys. Oh, not just gamers and skateboard turds. Sadly, among them are the biggest chunk of young people who volunteer for the Army and still, after all the facts, think Osama bin Laden was sharing pork hot dogs and booze with Saddam Hussein. I see them every day in Silver Spring, months later...minus limbs or half a skull. But hey, as they convalesce it's a laugh-riot on G4 as summer brings "Hurl!"
The axiom for the late 2oth Century and early 21st should be: JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN DO SOMETHING, DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD. Indeed, in "Office Space" creator Mike Judge's "Idiocracy," 500 years into a retarded future (smart people reduced to IVF, stupid people having babies galore) the number one box office smash is a movie called "Ass." A naked ass, occassionally farting every now and then. Two hours of it. Now, is that "Hurl?" Oh no--I'm making a mountain of a mole hill. Hurl is harmless fun. Hurl gets the target demo and makes the corporate sponsors happy. And I know you fanboys & girls don't want me biting the hand that feeds ole Nat, as I have to make the trek to San Diego for Comic Con 7/24 for a panel and some signings, and to enjoy the freak show and Hollywood invasion with the other ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine of you. Don't loudtalk G4.
But come on, whitepeople (to paraphrase Cosby)--this is what you come with...yet you refuse to engage existing technology or sock it to the fatcats who've been running your lives and getting uber rich so we can travel, breathe, work, live and love better, more efficiently, more respectfully? Naaaaaaaaaah! That's commie tree hugger talk. Ain't even nigger talk (right Ralph Nader?). So hurray for more whiteboy bread and circus. Well...these days, just circus. Bread costs too much. "Bread and circus"--that's how Rome kept its pleb mob happy...and then Rome fell. I know most of you dumbasses have no clue what that means. Just keep watching the former Maxim models on G4 --they'll elaborate on the new Hurl Xbox game soon. It'll be previewed after a new show called "Diarrhea on DD Tits." Get your Conceal and Carry license (oops...do you even need THAT anymore, Justice Scalia?) and join me at the screening!