Saturday, June 21, 2008

Friday Funnies


Sorry for the late tip. I'm still chuckling over these. No Youtube clip this time. Listen here:
The usual wingnut Republicans in Congress and in bloggerrhea came out big time against a bill guaranteeing 4 weeks paid pregnancy leave for women and spouses. They said it was BIG GOVERNMENT and "government knows best." OK.
But then they laud the legislation immunizing the telecom companies from privacy suits when that same government wants to spy on your calls and emails. OK.
Barack wants to put this country back on track with massive fiscal policy moves--Keynesian stuff even Richard Nixon would have agreed with. Screw this monkeying around at the Fed. Repairing our f'd up infrastructures--taxing the very m-fs would have taken so much and tried to dupe the NASCAR dads into saying it's all for welfare mothers...Katrina cheats...TAX AND SPEND. OK.
Yet what they do: BORROW AND SPEND? Take cheap money from the Chinese, cheap goods from them, to run our economy? Mortgage our children's heritage to foreigners?
Oh, and they want to drill offshore when the oil companies have been sitting on thousands of permits already, and of course just cut sweetheart deals with the mob that runs what they call Iraq these says (and of course this war has not even come remotely close to Dubya's promise that it would pay for itself). This "market" is an artifice. Plainly. Yet oh no, don't let BIG GOVERNMENT get involved, don't let it police the domestic speculators! But hey, let us drill, and that will lower prices and solve our problems--always and forever. OK.
And the beat goes on. Kinda old school. Old. Like when Southerners before the civil war talked about how Northern States had to yield to BIG GOVERNMENT and not protect runaway slaves. Yet after the war...oh, it's states rights. Leave us be.
Wanna here more? I'll crack you up. Got a few about the pharmaceutical industry, privatizing Social Security (and maybe having Bear Stearns and Merrill Lynch run it, right?) etc...

If you're a regular, normal American, you'll get the punchlines.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing till I cry!

Anonymous said...

Very impressive site Mr. Chambers. I saw you deleted your post over at Fields' place. Good idea. Dont want the peeps to see what a REAL racist fool you are. Maybe its just all that impulsiveness y'all are known for. Cant blame a clown for the big red nose can we?
Lets be real here, you invited me over here for a flame-out and here I am.
What got us here? It seems like I was putting forth a theory that black people might just be responsible for their actions. Good as well as bad. Im sure youll take responsibility for the good (none spring to mind right away but Im sure theyre there) but why not for the bad?
Tell me who is responsible for the obcenely disproportionate numbers of murders, rapes, crimes, dropouts, single mothers, deadbeat fathers, garbage strewn streets, un and under employment and general lack of civility among american blacks?
Why are blacks at the bottom of every societal indicator in places where they integrate with other races?
Why is the disfunction in africa exactly the same as the disfunction of black populations in the west?
Why dont blacks immigrate to Mexico, central and south america? WAIT, I can answer that one..we wont put up with your bullshit, we wont give you money to sit on your asses and make babies.

YOUR SERVE

Lisa said...

Gosh--who's this idiot? Dick Cheney been visiting again? (smile)
He-she needs to get ready to explain that to the next President (tehe)

Anonymous said...

OOPS, the post has returned. Weird. Spell check perhaps? Anyway the internet is a vast mysterious thing, aint it?
I had quite a laugh because after you tried your best to flame me because of my race, call me "speedy Gonzales" (OUCH!) pregnant 15 yr olds and other race-based put downs..THEN...you have the audacity to call ME a racist. Rich indeed. You are the gift that keeps on giving.
I look forward to further contact.

Anonymous said...

??? I saw the Publishers Weekly review on TDM and bravo. But I just also wanted to see the Friday Funnies andand instead saw this! NTurner: Stop making fun of Fox News and our illustrious Mr. Bush and maybe these people won't mess on your blog!
Who is Speedy Gonzalez? Alberto Gonzalez or the mouse? I saw the latter on a cartoon excerpt just today with cat "versions" of John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. That was back when cartoons were amusing.

Walter Mosley said...

hey, anon, last time I checked alot of hispanics had alot of kids and gangs, like the Latin Kings, La Eme, MS-13, that smuggle a ton of drugs into America, as well as rape, murder, and kill each other at rates equal to Black street gangs. And doesn't Brazil,Columbia,Belize, The Domican Republic have a large Afro-Latino population? Like Mr. Chambers said, your probably not a Latin, because a real Latino won't make that mistake. So STFU and go bother some other people

Hathor said...

Anonymous,
Since you are so much smarter than us, I thought you would have figured out how to post by now.

Anonymous said...

Still no "nat" to flame speedy back to tacotown. Disappointing.
However Mr. Mosely will do nicely for now. Sir, my family originated from Juarez Mexico. Not brazil, belize or Colombia. If you bother to look at a map you will see that they are different places with different peoples and sometimes they speak different languages that we do. I believe Brazilians speak Portuguese and have a different lineage from Mexicans.
As far as gangs, I believe there are white gangs, Vietnamese gangs, Laotian gangs and perhaps gangs of every color of the rainbow so your point is??? Your point about our gangs being as violent as yours.....THEY ARE GANGS YOU IDIOT. Violence is what they do. There are other social parameters like education, single parents, drug addiction, etc.. that are measured in the general population. Care to compare THOSE?? I thought not. Many gangs in SoCal arose because of the predatory nature of blacks we lived around. We moved into areas populated by blacks and we were, at first, victimized by these animals. You see, all of us worked, we always had jobs. This was in stark contrast to our black neighbors. Blacks quickly found that they could sit around all day and wait for us on our payday then come out from their holes to rob us. We banded together for protection and learned if we want to live a peaceful life we needed to rid our neighborhoods of blacks. That is exactly what we did and exactly what we are doing. Most of us couldnt pick up and move like the anglos did so we stood our ground and fought. We found that the bark of loudmouth blacks were far worse that their bites. We took over places like Compton and its far more livable than it was 15 yrs ago. Any guesses why?
Im not sure why you and Mr. Chambers think Im white. Could it be you cant handle an orange picker wiping the screen with you? Get used to it poco, were here to stay.
As for Hathor; I think I posted very well. If you read and understand English (I will not assume) you will understand what I am saying. If you dont? Im sure there are people in your local middle school that will be happy to help you with your problem.

Christopher Chambers said...

Um, anonymous--I still don't think you're Latino. And since you're anonymous, well, such implies chickenshit.
There's no debate here. Or tennis match. Or flaming each other's "positions." There's that word: flaming. Smarmy whiteboy-ese-I'm -so- much- smarter- than you-ha-ha. So please, give me a name and face. Otherwise this is all just plain creepy.

Better yet, come visit in the flesh. After I "flame" you, I still want to see how snug my piggies will be in your fundament. If you've been in prison w/La Eme, then I'm sure I could get it in there up to my knee. ;-)
Now, can we all talk about friday funnies?

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

can they get anything right

Anonymous said...

Mr. Chambers; How typical, how (stereo)typical. You invite me over here flame me (a pretty standard internet word) and then choose not to address one of my points. Instead you question my race, not sure why, and challenge me to physical combat. (piggies in the fundament has already been used, try to be a little more creative please)
Would a name, a face and an address change the assertions I have made? Please remember it was YOU who invited me here for a debate. It was YOU who promised to do the toe fundament wiggling once I got here. Well here I am and youve still got size 6 booties on. So much for that.
Let me educate you about the internet sir; EVERYBODY is anonymous. A picture and a name mean nothing. For all I know Im talking to a 19 yr old white girl who got dicked by a brotha and all of a sudden shes Rosa fucking Parks. People are anonymous. Only ideas and words are real. Respond to those please. If you cant, just say so. Dont show up for a fight, see your opponent and then decide youve got your good clothes on and slink away.
I made, in my opinion, a point. You told me to come here for a rebuttal and I have yet to hear it.

Just who is the chickenshit now?

Walter Mosley said...

first off you dumb motherfucker, I didn't say that Hispanics had the only gangs, but the way your post is constructed it is implied that Black people got the only gangs. I just brought up examples of actual Hispanic gangs to show that your account is bullshit. Furthermore, it was the incredible predatory Surenos gang and Mexican Mafia with its hatred of Black people that caused young Black teenagers to form the Bloods,Pirus, and Crips in defense during the 60s,70s,80s.
Also there are Black people in Mexico as this link demonstrates
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afro-Mexican
I'm also well aware of that Brazilians are Portuguese, as well as that each Latin country has its own unique culture, but the reason that I pointed out that many Latin nations have a African subpopulation was when you made that retarded ass comment about " Why dont blacks immigrate to Mexico, central and south america? WAIT, I can answer that one..we wont put up with your bullshit, we wont give you money to sit on your asses and make babies" even with a large Black sub-population present in many Mexican coastal states, who by many accounts, they live stable lives in the fishing and agriculture industry,they don't commit crimes, or have a high illigitimacy rate, or any one of the so-called pathological ills that are actually present in all racial groups but conservatives like to pretend are only present in Black people because their to chicken shit to admit there racist

As far as gangs, I believe there are white gangs, Vietnamese gangs, Laotian gangs and perhaps gangs of every color of the rainbow so your point is???

Funny,you claim that Black people are the cause of all social ills, but now that you acknowledge that people of all races commit crimes,not just Black folks, and Black folks aren't responsible for all of America's social ills,that you contradict your main argument,you use circular logic,aren't capable of forming a good argument, I'm right, and your a dumbass.

So once again,thanks for acknowledging that people of all races, and not just Black people, commit crime, and that your an idiot not capable of forming a
opinion,possible not Mexican(I've talked to real Mexicans and they are not this stupid or backwards) and possible a impotent wingnut.

walter mosley said...

the reason why its not good to have to post anon is that it can get confusing to argue with someone on a postboard, as you could confuse anons and respond to wrong person. Having a name makes identification easier you stupid bitch.

You use faulty logic in your arguments, blame Black people for all social ills, but than acknowledge that people of all races commit crimes and Black people ain't the problem, you call us the racist but than brag about moving all the Black people out of your community, claim all Black folk live on welfare(which is lie propagated by the conservative media, only 3/10 of the Black population actually live on welfare,most of us do have jobs and I'm one of those Black folks with jobs,yes I know its hard to believe considering your a racist and to confused to admit it) and you probably say something else that is stupid or doesn't make sense.

walter mosley said...

Why dont blacks immigrate to Mexico, central and south america? WAIT, I can answer that one..we wont put up with your bullshit, we wont give you money to sit on your asses and make babies"

And why the fuck would a Black American want to live in Mexico? Or any Latin nation? Last time I checked they had poverty,slums,drug cartels, terrorist groups, and every other type of inhumanity just as worse as any African nation.

Hathor said...

anonymous,
OOPS, the post has returned. Weird. Spell check perhaps? Anyway the internet is a vast mysterious thing, aint it?

Your words, not mine.

elle said...

Oh, I get it now. You’re one of the Hispanics that thinks you’re white, because you want to be white so bad. Because you have this little fantasy that if you kiss behind enough that you’ll be able to replace us savages and get to stay in America legally.

Hathor said...

I wonder if anyone saw this deal coming with the oil when the Bush administration was in Iraq setting the ground work for our military providing support for at least 10 years, no matter how the war ended.

Anonymous said...

OH MY, where to start. My original argument with Mr. Chambers was that black are responsible for THEIR social ills. Never did I use the word "ALL" or "EVERY" thats a strawman and a weak one at that. Perhaps Mr. Mosely can show me where I said "all". (HINT; I didnt). The argument stemmed from another blog where the social ills of blacks were blamed on whites, slavery, colonialism, racism, ad nauseum. Personal responsibility is something that is in debate in the black community and you cant deny that. Every time black disfunction is discussed, blaming others is the first reaction. Blacks are responsible for their crime, garbage, disfunction and failure. Whites are responsible for theirs and we are responsible for ours. I have no problem calling out gang bangers, drug dealers single parents in our society. NEVER has a Mexican blamed whites because he dropped out of school and committed crime. Blacks do this constantly.
To imply that the black gangs were formed as protection from big mean mexicans..laughable. Not just laughable, but a bigtime gutbuster. Im sure the Chicago gangs. new york gangs came from the same fear of Mexicans? pure refined garbage.
Indeed there are black people everywhere. My point was/is that in every instance where they live alongside other races they occupy the bottom of society without exception. Nauseatingly predictable. Keep grasping for excuses though. You seem proud that 30% of blacks live on welfare. Compare that to Whites, Hispanics and Asians. Still proud?
Im glad no blacks immigrate to Mexico, lets keep it that way huh? Can we include California in that too?
Let me say it again. Blacks are responsible for THEIR problems and only their problems. You are the cause of your ghettos and each individual is the cause of his/her own failure/success. Plenty of Hispanics at the bottom and it is their own fault they are there and they get no sympathy from me.
If you work hard and work smart you will succeed. If you dont you wont. I hate the whiners who made bad decisions, were lazy, stupid, undisciplined and still feel they deserve what hard workers have.
Simple as that.

Pebbles Flintstone said...

I wanted to get back to the joke of Bush still trying to privatize (well just about everything) but especially Social Security, to be run by the same people whose faces you either being arrested by the securities and exchange agents or the FBI, or for outrageous CEO pay, or being fired. However, bringing this nation up to the level of all civilized nations and even dictatorships like China for vacation and pregnancy leave is supposedly bad?

That can't be Walter Mosely for real, but I understand his anger.

Anonymous said...

Elle; I dont have to kiss anybodys ass to succeed. You may think that, if so, wear lip balm. My father did indeed cross the rio grande and became a citizen due to president Reagans amnesty in 1980. Not ashamed of that in the least. If you think Im white because Im smart, no problem. Ill ignore the "white" part and accept the "smart". All my family are citizens (thanks for asking). I dont worry about "staying". Im proud of my Mexican heratige. Im proud of my father (might want to wikipedia that word) for what hes done and Im proud to be an American.
Im proud of what my people are doing here. We work hard and our families are strong. I also dont worry about replacing you "savages" either. Economic darwinism will take care of that. My father worked in the fields in 1970. His son (me) has his own contracting company with 45 employees (guess how many blacks). No worries here, my sons will do even better than me. How many shaqueenas can say that?

btw; you might want to find another song to whine to. In 20 years we will be the majority and that racism shit work with us. No white guilt here.

walter mosley said...

And I never said that people aren't responsible for there own problems, I believe in personal responsibility when it comes to parenting, and crime, but when it comes to employment and housing all that "racism doesn't exist" bullshit is fake as there is proof and there have been studies to show that racism is still an impendiment

http://www.lipmagazine.org/~timwise/excusesexcuses1.html

http://www.lipmagazine.org/~timwise/excusesexcusescjs.html

http://www.lipmagazine.org/~timwise/excusesexcuses3.html

read this documents good, and you will find that what you say is false.


You say that the Black welfare rate ss disgusting at 30%, when the White rate is comparable.

http://www.huppi.com/kangaroo/L-welfareblack.htm

if you read the link, what does it say? It says that "People on welfare are usually black, teenage mothers who stay on ten years at a time" is a myth, and that "Most welfare recipients are non-black, adult and on welfare less than two years at a time."

Can you find any info that contradicts what is found? probably not.

elle said...

Despite what is popularly believed among white people that don't know shit about Black people, I have never personally blamed white people for my problems.Neither do most Black folk,and trust me, I live in a working class Black community,were crime is low,there are few single mothers or drugs. I go to college, I have a 3.8 GPA, and work a summer job at home depot. . If you knew Black folks, and didn't waste your time listening to your idiot conservative friends, and actually had real Black friends connected to the Black community, you wouldn't be saying half the retarded sexually repressed repug shit your spouting now.

elle said...

I actually got a dad, worked as a cop, about to retire. My mom works a accountant, went to college, like many Black people I know. Listen, you don't know shit, and you can have that pompous attitude all you want and I see through you. Judging by your economic darwinism comment, your a free trade advocate possible, the same free trade that devastated many Latin American nations. I wouldn't be surprised if other Latinos seen your ass as sellout,trying to curry favor with whites at the expense of your countrymen.

You said:Im glad no blacks immigrate to Mexico

I say: there are Blacks in Mexico dumbshit! did you not read the link I showed you about Afro Mexicans? Its not hard, copy and paste it in the url, I know that hard for someone with your mental skills, but still.
I'm also glad no Ameican Black will every head to Mexico, that cesspool of a nation. Fuck,is the drinking water still dirty, probably is, still militant revolutionaries like Zapata, and have the drug cartels finally overthrown the goveremnent. I love the US, i hate Mexico, and you do to, if you didn't, you wouldn't migrate to here. Common sense,something you lack.

walter mosley said...

Oh yeah anon, its easier to sound smart than actuaully be smart, and the contradictions you make in your arguments, plus your inability to provide any links that show that you are right,but your ability to provide unwitty insults to us proves you are nothing but a pseudointellectual

Christopher Chambers said...

Anonymous: my toes are cold (despite the heat here). When are you going to help me out? hahaha. I was rude. I'm sure I can only get in an ankle.

Anonymous said...

Well Mr. Mosely, if you think the truth of society can be accessed through Tim Wise, you are a fool. Wise is a white liberal "wingnut" who is as credible as Barney the Dinosaur. If YOU and Elle think personal responsibility is the key then good for you. Try floating that boat at the next NAACP meeting. You see, if the black leadership acknowledges the black condition is the fault of blacks then they wont be able to demand whitey pull you out. (or just give you money to pull yourself out)

Elle; you have a dad. Wonderful. Why dont you write about what its like and send it to 70% of your brothers and sisters. They might appreciate it. Gee, Do you think THAT might be a reason why you have a 3.8? Do you think THAT is why 70% of your brothers and sisters dont? Might be onto something here. Do you think the fact that YOU have a father in the home it negates the 70% that dont? Were not talking about you, were talking about African-Americans. But I guess since YOU have a dad theres no problem.

Nice try Mr. Mosely about "most on welfare are non-black". But what PERCENTAGE of blacks are on welfare. Blacks are what, 12% of the population?. What is the "per capita" rate? NOT COMPARABLE.

Want to check the PER CAPITA rate of school dropouts? of criminals? of single mothers/fathers? Welfare? Poverty? Drug addiction? Do that then get back to me.

btw; I like Mexico. Been there many times. Some places you can go, some you cant. Nothing unusual there.

-HECTOR-

elle said...

You say Tim Wise is outdated,yet he increase in popularity and continues to tour, plus, he just released another book that continues to sell that will be a profit. And no contrarian has yet to beat him in debate.

Despite what is popularly believed, welfare doesn't pay that much, many welfare recipients still have some form of employment, and being on welfare doesn't mean one is ouf of a job, it just mean one's job doesn't pay that much.

Personally, I believe that personal responsibility and social reform must go in hand. I hate gangmembers,drugdealers, and men that abandon there pregnant girlfriends as much as I hate crooked cops,and racist politicians, especially considering that my dads a honest cop who never did any dirt. But with employment discrimination the way it is,with skilled college educated Black workers being ignored, just working hard just isn't enough. I've heard tales of white guys with no college degrees getting jobs over skilled Black guys with Masters degrees. The US is a great nation, I wouldn't want to live any where else, but sometimes, your gonna need a little help, a little nudge in the right direction, as we all do at some point in our life.

Anonymous said...

Elle; If selling books is an indicator of relevance then please explain Ann Coulter. Also, few people "win" a debate. Most go away feeling exactly the way they did before it started and everybody always feel "they" won.

Many lament "crooked cops". Yet none hesitate to call one when they are in trouble. I respect the police and if your father was a cop then I respect him without even knowing him. I feel policemen are the most grossly underpaid people in our society. Doubling their pay would not be enough in my opinion. Another argument for another time I suppose.

Welfare indeed doesnt pay much. It is maintenance at best. The worst thing govt can do is give somebody money and expect nothing in return. Welfare, ADC, section 8, food stamps isnt a wonderful life, but its easy, you can sleep in and there is no boss in your face. It rots the soul. It dulls the incentive to not only provide for your family but to teach the attitude necessary to climb out of poverty.
In my neighborhood people that take a govt check rather than getting out to work are frowned upon. Theres no "hold yo head high sistah" where I come from. Men who abandon their families are not men in my culture. They are dogs. Quite a contrast from the "hood". Shaqueenas with 5 kids from 5 men are not shamed in the black community. Would be lotharios who father 5 shorties by 5 women are not shamed in the hood. It is a badge of honor, potency, virility. That has to change, in my not so humble opinion.

As far as the "tales" you have heard about stupid bubbas being picked over black MS's are just that..tales. Tales cooked up by poverty pimps who need to keep the black masses angry and poor. Im sure if you indeed have a 3.8 gpa you are well aware of the unlimited opportunities you have. So save the perpetual victim stuff. I know better.

That nudge in the right direction you talk about...the little help you need sometime...THAT will come from a loving mother AND father. Thats where I got it. Thats where so many whites and asians get it. Blacks need to get it there too. If you can convince your women to be more discerning who they spread their legs for. If you can convince the sperm donors to take responsibility for what they have created. Blacks just might succeed in this country.

-HECTOR-

Anonymous said...

Well Mr. Chambers, we had a pretty good go today. I see you chose to sit on the sidelines and soak your toes in palmolive. Probably a good idea, Id have made you my own personal sock puppet. Not to worry, Elle stepped in and aquitted herself quite well thank you very much. The 3.8 gpa she claimed is entirely believable. If she represents the future, it is in good hands. You, however represent the present and your community is in crisis.

I didnt come here by accident. You invited me. The opportunity to make your points on your own blog was here and you chose to puss out. Cant say Im surprised. The only thing that passed my fundament was last nights chicken masala. Your toes remained inside your perscription shoes. Pity.

Im not an expert in obscure sexual fetishes but this unhealthy obsession with toes and fundament seems slightly pathological to me. Perhaps some professional help is in your future.....or a gay hooker who lets you order dishes "off the menu"

Good luck with that painful series of injections.

-HECTOR-

walter mosley said...

Listen, lets stop this stupid argument, your not going to change my opinions, I'm not going to change yours, this is getting boring as fuck.

elle said...

what he said

Christopher Chambers said...

They seem less opinions than afflictions. Thus I think he can be made well.
I'll toss him a bone with a post on the new HBO documentary (I went to the premiere at the AFI) "Hard Times at Douglass High," and possibly something else on Mugabe...The Atlantic article on crime and section 8 housing.

Otherwise he's just going to have watch reruns of "American Me" with edward james Olmos on cable till the posts. LOL