Three More Weeks...

...till Cloverfield. Wisely, JJ Abrams did not fall into the "Snakes on a Plane" trap. The geeks have been restrained, keeping to speculative artwork and masturbation rather than digging out spoilers. I'm wondering though--will we see people of color Katrina-ized as the monster destroys their homes, or will it be the usual: MTV/the Hills-looking yuppies and buxom chicks terrorized by this creature in the streets of the Big Apple with not a brotha, a Dominican apartment super or even a Hasidic Jew in sight?

Happy New Year

Bush Killed "Binky"

Benazir Bhutto was known as "Binky" to her Harvard chick classmates. She rocked a pair of Jimmy Choo slingbacks as easily as a burka and loved to regale folk with the story of how General Zia (so comically portrayed in the new Tom Hanks flick "Charlie Wilson's War") murdered her father, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the ex-President of Pakistan. Ali was like Mossadegh in Iran: a populist, beholden to neither the US or Europe, or the Soviet Union, or even Islamic extremists. In short, dangerous because he represented an alternative that neither Cold War ideologue right wingers/oil companies and other fatcats/the CIA etc nor the mullahs nor the KGB could accept. Binky was a bit of the spoiled brat with a bit of the Coretta Scot King complex; yesterday morning she reaped the whirlwind from seeds she tossed. And I think she knew exactly what she was doing. Sadly, our government and its apologists and wingnut advocates online and on TV stood back and dicked around, knowing (and secretly hoping), for her Wagnerian self-immolation... for reasons more cynical than her own subconcious competition with daddy to see who could out-martyr whom. Interesting how we had to beg General Zia's protege, Dubya's great pal Mr. Musharref, to stop trying to stomp her. Such guarded words from Condi yet all along our troops are dying in Iraq of all places supposedly to establish democracy. Yeah, right. Go sell that to the rednecks during halftime of one the innumerable and insipid (and now pointless) BCS bowl games. [I believe I posted on that other perversion of America--the BCS system--a few weeks ago... ]

Yes such is the world right wing dumbasses created. (I include Muslin extremists here, OK Pajamas Media folk?) Yet if it came out by some alien invasion that Bush choreograph this with the fanatics and clowns on the other side, hey it'd be no news to me. Wake the hell up. It was the old Reagan-Bush clan and disciples who helped Zia off Binky's dad...so is it the position of the sons of Reagan-Bush that "Islamafacists" killed her to destabilize things...rather than Zia's inheritors--whom we have always courted and protected no matter what (and the Islamafacists they too often ally themselves with)? Wow. Either way, we have an uncanny knack for the same sort of ideological/wallet-related short-sightedness and back the wrong horse time and again. Then the horse turns around and kicks us and we start the whole bloody process over again. And now of course the "danger" will be used to maintain the status quo; right wing bloggers et al will point to an isidious Al Qaida plot, rather than--as we've seen time and time again from the murder of Daniel Pearl to now--a bunch of whacked-out college drop-outs or wannabes, all pathetically huckstering for martyrdom points with yet another bunch of assholes. There's unified no evil empire here. Even al Qaida is just gangs of morons and ass kissers led by the Islamic equivalent of Lumberg from "Office Space." They, like Bush/Cheney/Condi, feed off the chaos. Musharref--that bastard gets to stay in power a bit longer, feeding us a few nuggets the way Jack Nicholson fed the FBI in "The Departed" whilst he plundered and murdered. Yet we're told it would be unPatriotic to hope for a Leo DiCaprio type character to quell the storm. (That's your cue, Barack!).

I'm sure Fox will spin this as "heroine and democracy saint" Benazir Bhutto murdered by Muslims--likely IRAN...or MICHAEL MOORE...as if they gave a crap about Benazir Bhutto or the average NASCAR dad knew what a Bhutto was. ."the President and Secretary rice urge our great ally Musharef to 'hunt down and hang these bastards.'" If it wasn't real life, it'd be opera. And having hillary in charge would just change the libretto a few words when what we need is to sweep all of the cattawalling idiots and fanatics here and over there off the stage. And now the Ringling Brothers clown corps that are the GOP candidates are "sounding off." Cool. I feel better already. So do the oil speculators and the foreigners buying up our country as the fallout from greed and short-sightedness on the home front continues. But let's get to Wal Mart and spend. At least you'll have that new Wii with which to escape reality as the bank takes your home, the stockholders of your boss's company yanks your health plan, and yes, of course...there's Pakistan...

Binky, maybe there will be a groundswell of common sense as they lay you to rest. We can only hope. At least you can drop that burka, slip on them sling-backs and your old Crimson letter sweater, a pair of capris, too and show of them prize gams that drove the preppie fools wild back in the day..."Hey who is that swarthy chick with the limey accent? That's Binky, silly goose." Travel well, sister. But stop by and haunt the booby hatch in Crawford, Texas for a spell. After all, it was his dumb ass who made you the martyr you always yearned to be. In that, you proved to papa that his little girl could out-Ali-Bhutto the great Ali Bhutto...

Merry Christmas!!!

Season's Greetings from the Chambers Tribe. Catch you later...

(see on December 27th!)

Leave your holiday greeting if you'd like, and I'll give you a shout out...

Zero Wolf & the Crew

What do these two stories have in common?

If you know me, then the answer's easy:

Uno: Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16-year-old "Zoey 101" star and sister of Britney, told OK! magazine that she's pregnant and that the father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.
"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," she said. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."
Spears is 12 weeks along and initially kept the news to herself when she learned of the pregnancy from an at-home test and subsequent doctor visit, she told the celebrity magazine, which hits stands in New York on Wednesday and the rest of the country by Friday.

Dos:As if Florida State coach Bobby Bowden didn't have enough problems with his football program that continues to spiral toward the middle of the ACC pack, the university reportedly will suspend as many as 25 players - including 11 starters - for the Dec. 31 Music City Bowl against Kentucky for their alleged involvement in an academic cheating scandal.
According to a story broken by the Tallahassee Democrat, underclassmen who have admitted guilt could also be suspended for the first three games next season. Federal privacy laws prohibit the school from releasing names, but the defense is expected to be hit the hardest.
Involved players are expected to continue practicing but will not travel with the team to Nashville, according to president T.K. Wetherell and Bowden. If the players fight the suspensions, they risk losing their eligibility. The latest controversy to hit this beleaguered program came as a result of an internal investigation by the university in May after the school received information that a student tutor had directed one athlete to take an on-line quiz for another and then provided the answers. The tutor reportedly told officials he had provided student-athletes with answers for the test since 2006, according to a report on ESPN.com.
The university reported its findings in a letter to the NCAA in September after a six-month investigation. Academic adviser Brenda Monk and the student tutor lost their jobs this summer for reportedly offering improper help after 23 FSU athletes were implicated in cheating on on-line exams. At first, the scandal was thought to involve only two Seminole football players. Defensive end Kevin McNeill missed the season and wide receiver Joslin Shaw missed the first four games. But now, following ongoing interviews, the circle has expanded, leaving Bowden and his staff wondering who will be available. "We have some players not traveling for one reason and some for another, including those who are ineligible for the bowl because of academic issues," Bowden said in a statement released by the university Tuesday. Bowden, 78, who has been at FSU for 32years, had been refusing to comment on the scandal. He is in the final days of his career and has been taking heat for his team's fourth straight subpar season.
The school, which announced last week that Bowden had agreed to a one-year extension that will pay him $2 million, designated Jimbo Fisher as his eventual successor. Fisher's new contract calls for him to replace Bowden at the end of the 2010 season.

The little missive in red about this old piece of SHIT Bobby Bowden should give you a hint. Any guesses? Yeah, college football's a sham and these guys--including too many young black men--are students like I can grow wings and fly like a bird, and they perform like seals for these rednecks whilst real students can't catch a break. But that's just the sympton, not the moral disease or hypocrisy. I cut off the Spears story because it would give it away. Zooey 101 will not cease production, by the way...

Celebrities are fools

More from the bread & circus millieu. Oh and by the way, "bread & circus" refers to the Dancing with the Stars, NASCAR and E! of ancient Rome: as long as you kept the average schlub entertained and distracted with "bread & circus," he would wake up and realize the Empire was a sham, the debts and blood were adding up, the silly policies screwing people. Sound familiar? Worked well for a litte while but it didn't really help Rome in the long run(in the west at least, the Eastern/Byzantine Empire lasted until the 1400s--almost to the time of Columbus--and was talen over by...how prophetic...Islam, hence Constantinople becomes Istanbul...ain't history fun?).

Anyways, my point here is that celebs just think differently from we regular folk. Take Marcia Cross of Desperate Housewives. She takes nube photos then dumps them in the trash. Otto the garbageman finds them...boom...on the net and being displayed thusly by Nat Turner. Cross whines and hires shysters but in the end, any PR is good PR in this culture. This is one of the tamer ones. Notice other than Eve and her sex toy act, and Nicole Narain with Colin Farrell and his big real sex toy, you din't see too many black folks doing this. Like facial aging, I guess God gives us some little crumbs of advantage...

No Friday Funnies today...

Dispatches from the Culture War:

1.The Mitchell Report. Lawd. Is it only fatuous NASCAR dads, baseball nerds like Bob Costas and George Will and moronic right wing politicos who are whining about this steroid thing? Last I checked--and this is axiomatic--chicks dig the long ball (and the mean arm). As Colin Cowherd mused on ESPN radio, the sacrifice bunt and the baseball strike, plus greed, corporate consolidation, hedge funds and CEO pay and the new uber-hype culture brought this about, not immoral evil players. Baseball's not called "The Show" for nothing (props to "Bull Durham" for that). Yeah, it's show biz, no less than Dancing with the Stars. Great minds think alike, Colin. Meaning that if you're going to punish these ballplayers then punish MLB, Selig and his gang of douchebag owners, NBC and Fox and even the craven cities, like the District of Columbia, building ballparks and screwing local residents and contractors and neighborhoods and lowering bond ratings. Look, EVERYBODY cashed in on this, and it's telling that the real story here is that ordinary journeyman players and minor leaguers are heavy on the list. How else can a dude with a mortgage and low prospects feed his family in this age of coddled, annointed superstars (hey it's like that in the book biz, too, cuz!)? If somebody came to you and said if you take pill, you'll make 50% more money...and your boss'll be happy with the results, too, wink wink...please kiss my ass if even a Mormon player (as my boy Keith Olberman pointed out) would pop that badboy! Gimme a break. Baseball's more popular than ever and, like so many "culture" wedge issues you see hags like Ann Coulter hiss over on Fox, if you're looking to blame somebody, look in the mirror!

2.Christmas. Guess what, Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck: even my liberal-commie-crunchy granola friends 'round here in the Peoples Republic of Takoma Park, Maryland (but 6 miles from the White House, like the Red Army closing on on der Furherbunker in May, '45) wonder where the f**k has Christmas gone! Seriously, stop your usual red-baiting and lies to keep the redneck and soccer suburb idiots distracted! Again, last I checked, it was BIG everything: Food, Oil, Retail, Pharma just trying to make more bucks who've de-Christmasized Christmas. You can't even quietly blame the liberal Jewish media mogul conspiracy (of course not the "good" Jews in your book, like the neo-cons Ha!). Can't blame the Muslims, either. There aren't enough of them, and frankly they don't care--like the Chinese who keep the carry outs open Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (recall the movie A Christmas Story: "Deck the harls rif borrs of horry, far-ra-ra-ra-ra, ra-ra-ra-ra")

Frankly, I'm apalled that the Fox News brigade and fools like Beck and other facists have the balls to attack liberals for this when they know it's bullshit. OK...yeah...they do it all the time, but come on. Replace "Christmas" with the word "Holiday" is a marketing gimmick, plain and simple. You want to blame someone for shitting all over Linus's speech in A Charley Brown Christmas?" Again, look in the mirror. We are overweight consumer zombies to Wal-Mart, Citibank, Macy's, and 1000 calorie burritos at supposedly healthy Chipotle's (so much for immunizing them from suits on the basis of "free will"), etc etc etc and their institutional stockholders and their bloated CEOs. Sound familiar? See my paragraphs above on baseball. An illustration/analogy: whilst in Home Depot I asked a manager (based on an exchange I had with a sales associate who plainly had trouble with the Kings English) why the aisle descriptions were in English and Spanish. Was there an edict from the county human rights commission? A La Raza lawsuit? A boycott? "No," he said nonchalantly. "We just figure it'll bring more of them in, and make us more money." (emphasis added)

So keep your head down and watch the shrapnel. Spring training's four months away...oh and: Happy Holidays!!!

Andy Young=FOOL?

What did "Sgt. Waters" say about southern negroes in "A Soldiers Story?" Or is this indicia of the rising senility of the old Civil Rights generation? I mean, I've heard stuff like this as long ago as 1987 when "Du" Burns said it of Kurt Schmoke during a mayoral primary, or as recently as Sharp James' attacks on Corey Booker. Should Andy Young have known better? Yes, if only because it draws the curtain back on the self-serving functionaries who haunt groups such as the Congressional Black Caucus, et al. These fatuous folk are disciples of the Clintons the same way a remora sticks to a shark...or a tick digs into a deer, perhaps? Andy Young has long been one of those people living off this largesse. I can't see Jimmy Carter, his long-time friend--countenancing this comment. Yeah there'll be a few ignorant black folks who rant "Yeah, Bill Clinton...he our first black prez-dent" and forget the harm and smoke and mirrors of those years. But there are people who know better. Andy Young's not one of them:

December 10, 2007 -- The silence was deafening in the camps of Democratic presidential candidates yesterday over civil-rights leader Andrew Young's tasteless crack comparing Bill Clinton's and Barak Obama's supposed prowess with black women.
"Bill is every bit as black as Barack. He's probably gone with more black women than Barack," the former UN ambassador quipped on a live TV interview - immediately adding, "I'm clowning."
Clinton's campaign had no immediate comment, nor did Obama's.
Jesse Jackson, who has boasted that Obama "has my vote," wouldn't touch the political hot potato with a 10-foot pole.
"He has no comment," spokeswoman Rashida Restaino said.
The Rev. Al Sharpton, who hasn't yet declared his choice for Dem presidential nominee, likewise had no immediate comment.
Young, the former mayor of Atlanta, made the remark after being asked what he thought of Obama during the Sept. 5 interview.
Young, who has not made an official endorsement, said, "I want Barack Obama to be president," pausing for applause before adding, "in 2016."
"It's not a matter of being inexperienced. It's a matter of being young," he said.
Locally, Harlem state Sen. Bill Perkins said Young's comments were way out of line.
"That's an insult to black women of the ugliest kind that I've heard in God knows how long, and he should be ashamed of himself," Perkins said.

Lest White People Get Too Smug...

Whilst stories of drive-bys or cocoa-colored foster kids selling crack for so-called welfare mothers saturate the airwaves, stories like this go underreported. Don't believe me? I said it--underreported. What's wrong with these people who behave like this? It's not a civil rights issue--it's a character issue! I swear white people are too much into Fox News and Tobi Keith and new paneling for the double-wide and a chrome gunrack to match the chrome exhaust on the Blazer. It must be a moral breakdown? hehehehe

Authorities say a Springfield woman was booked on attempted murder counts for allegedly shooting two men whose dog damaged Christmas decorations at her home. Ethel Shannon McKinney, 28, was booked on two counts of attempted second-degree murder and illegal use of a weapon, Jason Ard, a spokesman for the Livingston Parish Sheriff's Department, said.
McKinney and her boyfriend got into an argument with the men over the damaged decorations, and McKinney allegedly fired at the men, Ard said.
One man was hit in the upper torso and arm; the other, in an arm. Ard said none of the injuries were life threatening.
The incident happened around 9:30 p.m. Sunday.
McKinney's boyfriend, Audie Ray Criswell, was booked on two counts of aggravated assault and with disturbing the peace, Ard said.

Friday Funnies on a Dreary Monday

OK, OK...so I have opined that a combination of Fox News (and attendant pundits), black street lit and church lady porn authors and hip hop, plus MTV/VH-1/BET (thus Sumner Redstone) have turned Americans into fatuous morons, but even I love a little mindless fun. Regard, my favorite NASA brother...Astronaut Jones...

BCS fiasco. Best Little Whorehouse in America

One of my few sports posts. I recall when I was a kid there were four bowl games, all on New Years Day, except for the really stupid ones--my father would joke about the "Toilet Bowl" held in Elizabeth, NJ (these were the days before the Meadowlands, and NJ always smelled bad right there at exit 13...). There was no such thing as a the American Standard-Charmin Toilet Bowl, either. Just the Toilet Bowl. We never watched the Cotton Bowl from Dallas because it was alwasy two cracker-ass teams with a few token black superstars (fools too dumb to know they were being used and so hopped up on booster cash they'd have stuck a Confederate flag in their asses). I always liked the Rose Bowl (either Michigan or Ohio State) or the Sugar Bowl (usually Notre Dame and some eastern school).
It never occured to me, as a bright-eyed little boy, that there would have to be a "playoff." I mean, this was back during the time the NIT meant something, and March ws yet to be Mad. Playoffs were for pros, or for other college sports like hoops (even my dad's alma mater, NYU, was good back then).
Now, playoffs aren't a good idea, says the honchos that run college football. Foreign corporations stamping their logos at the 50 yard lines of our venerable prefab football cathedrals doesn't seem to bother the average American. That's because we're all retarded sheep, but that's another rant. GREED's the thing, folks. Moral decline, lack of values. Not because of liberals. Nah. Because of moolah. At the heart of this morass is a system in college football that is so corrupt you wonder why Congress, eage to stick it's snoot into all kinds of falsities and diversions, doesn't investigate it. The same people who want to destroy affirmative action love handing out scholarships to brothers who can't even read and who have entourages that yeah, will shoot somebody like Sean Taylor. It's them. And Fox, NBC, ABC-ESPN, CBS and the stockholders therein. And the cities that can whore themselves to get the crowds, students and alums coming in for the game. And the ADs, the coaches, the BCS "officials" themselves. All whores. The way this stuff goes, Princeton might make the Elmers Glue Bluebonnet Bowl or the Lipitor Cholesterol Bowl under some arcane calculation! Might as well have the Illini in the Rose Bowl. Oops...they ARE in the Rose Bowl. So pardon me, Ohio State and LSU fans...the boodussy stink in this whorehouse will make you retch.
Take Jim Litke's piece on MSNBC (home of my idol Keith Olberman). Tell me what you think of it, and the whole BCS hoe stroll...brought to you by Lexus, FedEX, Astro Zenenca and Amgen, McDonalds, Chilis, "I Am Legend," Ford, your local Cadillac dealers, KFC, Travis Tritt and his new CD "We didn't loose in 1865--ask Rudy Giuliani," America's Chemical companies, America's coal mining companies, DuPont, everything Sumner Redstone and Barry Diller owns, Nike sweatshops, Florida Orange Juice, Wal-Mart and the People Republic of China.
Playoffs? Lord, that's like...like...retreat in Iraq!!!

Now if only black AUTHORS would have this courage!

Thanks to Karu Daniels for this content. Actress Gabrielle Union was commenting on the Tyler Perry-ization (without mentioning the latest meal ticket of white TV and film producers) of black film...if there is such a thing as "black film" anymore in the new Hollywood. The stuff out now makes Blaxoploitation seem quaint. It has become big budget minstrelism, chitlin circuit cliched tripe set to digital video or celluloid...and we of course have eaten it up. Morris Chestnut's never had much range as an actor. Come on now, folks--he's Rickie from Boyz in the Hood over and over again...even in comedies. Gabby's got the ability to emote as well as the ability to show cheesecake. That's how Susan Sarandon, Jessica Lange, et al showed how you go from T& A to cinema grand dame.

So g'won Gabby. We'll turn to into a Cosby-ite yet, and let's pray black writers will show some backbone as well (though I'm not holding my breath): "I'm sure I could call Morris Chestnut and we could do eight more movies, and we'd be totally happy, our bills paid. But am I growing as an artist? You can't take just any job ... if you do take any job it becomes painfully obvious once the thing comes out. People are like, 'Whew, she needed money.'"