Wednesday, December 05, 2007

BCS fiasco. Best Little Whorehouse in America

One of my few sports posts. I recall when I was a kid there were four bowl games, all on New Years Day, except for the really stupid ones--my father would joke about the "Toilet Bowl" held in Elizabeth, NJ (these were the days before the Meadowlands, and NJ always smelled bad right there at exit 13...). There was no such thing as a the American Standard-Charmin Toilet Bowl, either. Just the Toilet Bowl. We never watched the Cotton Bowl from Dallas because it was alwasy two cracker-ass teams with a few token black superstars (fools too dumb to know they were being used and so hopped up on booster cash they'd have stuck a Confederate flag in their asses). I always liked the Rose Bowl (either Michigan or Ohio State) or the Sugar Bowl (usually Notre Dame and some eastern school).
It never occured to me, as a bright-eyed little boy, that there would have to be a "playoff." I mean, this was back during the time the NIT meant something, and March ws yet to be Mad. Playoffs were for pros, or for other college sports like hoops (even my dad's alma mater, NYU, was good back then).
Now, playoffs aren't a good idea, says the honchos that run college football. Foreign corporations stamping their logos at the 50 yard lines of our venerable prefab football cathedrals doesn't seem to bother the average American. That's because we're all retarded sheep, but that's another rant. GREED's the thing, folks. Moral decline, lack of values. Not because of liberals. Nah. Because of moolah. At the heart of this morass is a system in college football that is so corrupt you wonder why Congress, eage to stick it's snoot into all kinds of falsities and diversions, doesn't investigate it. The same people who want to destroy affirmative action love handing out scholarships to brothers who can't even read and who have entourages that yeah, will shoot somebody like Sean Taylor. It's them. And Fox, NBC, ABC-ESPN, CBS and the stockholders therein. And the cities that can whore themselves to get the crowds, students and alums coming in for the game. And the ADs, the coaches, the BCS "officials" themselves. All whores. The way this stuff goes, Princeton might make the Elmers Glue Bluebonnet Bowl or the Lipitor Cholesterol Bowl under some arcane calculation! Might as well have the Illini in the Rose Bowl. Oops...they ARE in the Rose Bowl. So pardon me, Ohio State and LSU fans...the boodussy stink in this whorehouse will make you retch.
Take Jim Litke's piece on MSNBC (home of my idol Keith Olberman). Tell me what you think of it, and the whole BCS hoe stroll...brought to you by Lexus, FedEX, Astro Zenenca and Amgen, McDonalds, Chilis, "I Am Legend," Ford, your local Cadillac dealers, KFC, Travis Tritt and his new CD "We didn't loose in 1865--ask Rudy Giuliani," America's Chemical companies, America's coal mining companies, DuPont, everything Sumner Redstone and Barry Diller owns, Nike sweatshops, Florida Orange Juice, Wal-Mart and the People Republic of China.
Playoffs? Lord, that's in Iraq!!!


Anonymous said...

Preach. It's so watered down even die hard fans are cross-eyed. It only serves the bookies.

Anonymous said...

OSU, baby!!!

rikyrah said...

They get what they deserve. I had to LMAO as West Virginia, and that other team lost on the same night. It was hilarious to me.

The BCS was always a joke. a twisted joke, and nothing is as twisted as it is right now. They can't even begin to explain who got what invitation. They perpetrate that they can, but not really.


Anonymous said...

Agreed on all points, even the nostalgia for a simpler time and the athlete affirmative action. However, every alternative I've seen seems cumbersome and still involves subjective nonesense and drama from the media and the college presidents, the NCAA. The fix might be worse than the breakage.

plez... said...

excellent post... i'm with you on this one, even posted something similar at plezWorld.

such a satisfying college football season died on the vine as LSU and OSU were handed backstage passes into the championship game (with both of them squirming past Oklahoma, Georgia, and Virginia Tech)... what gives?!?

tchaka owen said...

I didn't realize there were so many Oklahoma State University fans that read this blog. Go OSU!

I love sports, love football and love(d) bowl games. I also detest the BCS and wish you'd written more about this bullshit that we're forced to endure. I used to watch almost every bowl game and they all had meaning. One of my favorite games was the Cotton Bowl in 1990 when Miami whipped Texas 46-3 and set an NCAA record for penalties - just to spite the NCAA's no celebration rule. Dissent the right way!

The powers that be have tried so hard to create a champion that the other bowls have lost significance. In fact, this year the championship isn't at a's a separate game. And the super conference greed has resulted in championship games which don't really garner that much interest (at least to me). The true beneficiary of these championship games is the Big Ten because they don't have one, they sit back and watch top teams eliminate themselves thus leaving a spot for their #1 team. So many problems that you could list:

1. Missouri loses and is not even in the BCS, despite beating Kansas the previous week (Kansas is in the BCS).

2. Georgia was #4 and is idle, yet gets leapfrogged by LSU who beat lower ranked Tennessee in a relatively close game. How did that happen?

3. tOSU has a very very good team. But I can name at least 3 teams better. Yet they're in the championship game.

I hope you write something about Heisman because I can already tell you what a farce it will be. The best QB is arguably Tebow. The best athlete is McFadden. But the Heisman is not for the best QB or best athlete, it's for the athlete who leads his team to victory. That has to be Colt Brennan. Do you REALLLLY think he has a chance?

Anonymous said...

You visited my site the other day - must be part of Mirah's distribution? Anyway, interesting blog you have going here. Thanks for visiting mine, and hope you have a great week!

Lola Gets said...

No you didnt say, "the Elmers Glue Bluebonnet Bowl or the Lipitor Cholesterol Bowl." AHahaha!

Im not sorry to say that I dont give a crap about sports. I just dont. But I did find this years Army/Navy game interesting in a painful sort of way. Someone needs to help the poor Army out, get them some decent players or something. That game was a serious shut-out.


Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Old school here cuz! I remember the Cotton Bowl too. Texas, Nebraska, run the option and pitch 3 times and out, 5 passes the whole game. Although the wishbone was effective for a few teams, it was ugly!